#delete your threads

[theoverstimulated]

"One of the immediate actions I took was to delete a bunch of my social media accounts. I deleted (both of) my X (Twitter) accounts, my TikTok, and all (three) of my Instagram accounts. I already knew that getting rid of my Facebook account was a blessing, as it forced me to communicate directly with the people I wanted to be in my life and to release those who were not making any effort (beyond spectating), so it effectively strengthened my existing relationships. I know how scary it can be to think that you might lose what tentative connections you have, but please hear me when I say that those superficial connections are taking up your time, space, and energy that could be better spent elsewhere creating actual community."

Behind-the-scenes work to get your life aligned with your values isn't glamorous, but it is very necessary if you're trying to actually change your life to be one you're happy living. Self-betrayal through adhering to the status quo will eat at your soul.

[equalperson]

being an "is often envious of others" narcissist instead of a "believes that others are envious of them" narc SUCKS. WDYM seeing other people do something even slightly better or faster than I do makes Me feel physically ill?? this shit is so embarrassing.

[16wheelerhorse]

every time ralf schumacher or jacques villeneuve decide they’ve got some shit to say (usually about Lando) in 2025 an angel fucking kills themself 🥀

[clinicshamartia]

Why are they spending all this time, energy and money into making a new social media app when they can just bring back MySpace

[byanyan]

thinking about how i wanna make my comeback (other than dumping doodles on yall outta nowhere lmajkfh)..... and i think...... like, i say this every time, but i'm gonna dump all my drafts except some v selective few (+ maybe some starters i started replying to before i disappeared). for real this time!!!! i wanna start fresh, only holding on to things that are v significant OR that i'm enjoying too much to let go.

i just!!! i think i've finally properly realized that i just have to be v selective with the threads that i take up. i have to take my limited energy into account (as well as how stressed having too many drafts makes me) and respect my own boundaries in that sense bc i know that i get overwhelmed and then proceed to get nothing done if i step past it. 2025 is my year of being more private, more selective, and taking care of me!!!! i'm sure y'all understand and i appreciate sm that you've stuck around through all this off and on bs i've had going on for... fuck, way too long now. like over a year atp for sure ;~;

[lvmimis]

my mom does this thing where if she sends me something even remotely shady or forwards a pic to me she then deletes the message promptly and it kills me cuz it’s not even like she’s afraid I’ll ss it it’s cuz she thinks her phone will get stolen or unlocked and the person in question will find out or like… the government

[ruiiplume]

So...

Guess who's coming back hahaha

[kiyomitakada]

i am going to scream (wip rambling in the tags)

[fereldensheroesa]

@starlixir asked:

“Why can’t I boop a dragon’s snoot?” (@ Nimue)

"Hey." The elven woman turned some to look at Nova. A hand was raised, finger pointing her direction. "You can always boop a dragon's snoot. Once. If you're sneaky." Would you lose that hand? Maybe. That's why she'd said 'once'.

[pepprs]

girls who slam themselves in the 3x meta psychic prison. mutuals my mother straight up does not love or see or understand me and never did. when the pain is unending 😍

​ok yeah. i wasn’t going to write about it bc it’s deeply embarrsssing on multiple levels but like. i watched the childhood video tapes. except i couldn’t get the one from the first 2 months of my sister’s and my life(s) to work so i watched one from when we were 4 and our brother was less than a year old. and mutuals… in SO many of the clips she’s filming him and only him trying to get him to bounce and shit snd i ask for her to turn the camera on me so she can see me dancing or i can show her the picture i drew for her or ask her a question or share a thought and like… yes i was an annoying feisty bossy attention seeking 4 year old with a horrible bowl cut. but i was 4. and i just wanted my mom to listen to me and look at me. and she was dismissive to me in the videos like not outright cruel but exasperated with me for constantly trying to stick my head into the shot and asking for her attention. and when she would say “not now tess” or “tess you’re blocking him” etc etc i apologized for it and that part was sad too. idk. all of it was sad. i knew watching this shit that i was probably gonna stir stuff up which would be dangerous esp bc i don’t have therapy until the end of the month and i did stir things up just in watching the documented footage of it. i wish it was safe to post some of it on here bc it’s genuinely… like i feel like i don’t get to say it was sad bc i was being annoying and attention seeking but it’s sad.

on top of that.. i couldn’t get the vcr to play shit on my laptop bc i didn’t have the right equipment for it so i had to play it on the tv. and my whole family eventually caught on to me watching it and have watched clips of it with me now. and that’s just so complicated. bc they’re all adding their commentary about it too and im letting them and inviting them bc i don’t know how to set boundaries. and my mom… god. my mom is DOUBLING DOWN on exactly the same stuff she said in the video when we were FOUR YEARS OLD. saying that my sister and i got to be filmed so much when we were babies and now it’s our brother’s turn. and i get that. i really do. i know i got attention when i was a baby and i can’t deny that. i know it wouldn’t have been fair or healthy or whatever to neglect him in favor of me / us. but also… i was FOUR!!!!! i was too little to understand what the politics of attention meant. and it just kind of fucking sucks that she’s holding that against me NOW too (as she said multiple times today / tonight) like saying scornfully that i was always so jealous of him and she doesn’t understand why i needed attention so badly since i never had undivided attention in the first place as a twin. like… i was a little kid. what did you expect me to do just like magically not need attention anymore and understand that the baby gets all the attention and go busy myself somewhere. idk. i feel entitled / selfish for saying it WHICH IS THE WHOLE PROBLEM like that video tape literally documents whatever mental issues i have now emerging… like me learning that i wasn’t important anymore and that when i sought attention i was just getting in the way and being annoying. lol

AND…. on top of all of this… sitting down with my mom and siblings and showing the videos and laughing over it and inviting their laughter even though it hurts to watch and it hurts to laugh at it and to hear them laughing… my mom’s focus in WATCHING these videos 20 years later is almost ENTIRELY on my brother!!!!!!! STILL!!!!! like the whole reason i had the clips i had was to… idk. trace the genesis of my mental illness and she wasn’t even paying attention to that she was just cooing over my brother. and when i told her why i was watching these / attempted to point out the patterns she got exasperated with me for overanalyzing everyrhing and navel gazing etc etc to an unhealthy degree. i fucking give up lol

it feels stupid selfish etc etc to be spiraling abt this and i usually don’t make long multi paragraph posts but like. god. this was a mistake. i never should’ve done this. it happened with the whole coming out day snapchat story thing too among other episodes. every time i dig up a thing from the past that she did that hurt me and try to explain it in retrospect she never changes her tune or comforts me or expresses any understanding or anything. she just doubles down on what she said / did before that hurt me so bad and it hurts me all over again. it could’ve been so much worse and the experience of adjusting to having a new sibling is universal and not a big deal in the slightest but it was a big deal for me. i so clearly took it hard and needed attention from my fucking mom!!! and that wound is still raw and now ive ripped it wide open again. scared little girl moment

[viaetor]

exhaustion

im sorry for throwing this here in the first place. I generally don't post vents on tumblr dot com, but I've been under so much stress lately and I just. don't have anywhere I can dump things yknow?? i don't wanna feel like a burden to my friends or as if its their responsibility.

but I've been so, so exhausted lately. but it's so hard to just *stop* or *take a break*.

currently, im working 3 part-time jobs, participating in 4 uni projects, writing my thesis, finishing up my government-funded research, completing translations, on top of having my regular classes. not to mention more work and projects ive been "invited" to accept that are still starting up and my upcoming mandatory internship. my parents have been entrusting me with more and more responsibilities regarding their physical health as seniors. but i also need to keep an eye out so that my drug addict sister doesn't do anything stupid and gets thrown out of the house again. I'm also worried about another sister of mine.

Lately i tried to distract myself by involving myself more with my friends. I've helped a few friends out with their own stuff (moving, writing, job interviews, emotional support) and ive been reconnecting with long past friendships, which is pretty neat. and it was working for a while, but im starting to get drained from even the simplest interactions.

now every time I look at my phone or get out of my room, people are calling me to ask to do stuff for them. I'm so numb to it all, I just do it automatically even when my body is sore and my brain is dead.

the worst part is that I can't quit anything. there are no vacations waiting for me, and no way I can lessen my workload more than I already have. I'm numb to it all, it's exhausting, but I feel so ashamed for even feeling tired. I feel like I have no right to feel that. I'm so used to being "reliable" and "efficient" to others that I'm not sure if I know how to Not be what people expect of me.

Ive been trying not to smoke or stress-eat and instead just hit the gym to get rid of the stress and anxiety, but even that hasn't been enough.

I want to write. I want to draw. I wanna learn languages. I wanna study. I wanna chat. But I just don't have the energy to do the things that make me feel happy and healthy. even if I'm ironically already doing some of them. I feel like an ungrateful brat. especially since I'm surrounded by so many awesome people.

I'm really lucky to have you all. I love getting your messages, seeing your posts, writing with you. I'm so happy with how I've been developing bonds with people here. thank you so much for investing in me! i really do cherish and appreciate it. I just want to apologise for seeming so distant and emotionally unavailable, not to mention how long i take to reply sometimes. to those that have been nothing but kind and patient to me, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope I can make it up to you!

I'm just really, really tired at the moment, and I'm not sure how to juggle through everything in my life right now. so I'm really sorry.

I wish I had dottore's skills so I could make clones of myself ngl. that'd be pretty neat

[gcdfvcked]

tbh all you new blog havers out there are on thin ice for a while !!

[shivasdarknight]

banging my head on the table

why do people have this urge to come onto other peoples' posts and make it about themselves.

the number of times ive talked about My Own Lore publicly and someones come onto My post to talk about their stuff while completely ignoring everything i said.

like do you not realize how shitty that feels. wouldnt you not want it to happen to you.

then why the FUCK do you do it to others.

[a-passing-storm]

I am... I forgot. Potatoes. I love potatoes. Potatoes are so ubiquitous that I forgot that they were originally from South America and like... People. In the past. They didn't have potatoes. Like. People on Earth in the past, some of them, a lot of them, never had potatoes. Never knew of potatoes. If I said that this realization actually made me tear up, would you laugh?

[itsriyokuma]

So cringe that people on Twitter are signing up for the Twitter clone from META like yeah surely that all be better

[fastfists]

Just putting this here for anyone new to this blog, I try not to ignore partners or such...but sometimes my brain latches on to specific things it wants to answer or such, that and I can be a bit slow to respond to things. This doesn't mean however I do not wish to write with you...I just am like a snail in molasses caught in a tar pit type slow. You are always and I mean always welcome to send in asks or respond to open post or even just tag me in shit. I love that. I wanna write with you all so much. Love you guys ;3